


Our Hearts Were Made to Start The Healing

by CrescentHazel



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Protective Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Stressed Sora, Symphony of Sorcery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 02:22:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrescentHazel/pseuds/CrescentHazel
Summary: "He’s broken, I know he is. I can feel it."Riku takes Sora to Symphony of Sorcery and helps him heal through the weight of responsibility that's been placed on him. They bond and return to face things together. Takes place after KH3, but not necessarily canon compliant.





	Our Hearts Were Made to Start The Healing

**Author's Note:**

> Symphony of Sorcery is one of my favorite KH worlds and I will always love fics that take place there. Not really a fix it fic since I started it before I finished the game.
> 
> Title taken from an I See Stars song.

Sora sits in one of the empty halls in Yen Sid’s ever changing tower, illuminated only by the faint glow of the lanterns lining the walls. Riku’s been watching the other boy for almost fifteen minutes now and Sora hasn’t moved once, simply staring at the blank walls in thought.

He doesn’t even notice when Riku stops in front of him, staring down at the slouching form of the keyblade master, the champion of light, a pawn of the darkness.

 _He’s broken, I know he is._ _I can_ feel _it._

It’s not surprising after what they’ve put him through in only two years. His body’s been ripped apart, split in half, his memories rewritten and erased, heart fractured and almost lost to the darkness, everything put on the line, loss over and over again. He’s only sixteen. Riku’s not sure how _anyone_ could think Sora is okay.

There are tells, the random flinches at certain noises, the confusion on whether he should remember something or not or even if what he remembers is true. His once cheerful smiles get more forced by the day.

Riku drops the bag by their feet with a thud. Sora startles and looks up at him. He looks so vulnerable, eyes tired and caught off guard in the dim light. Sora recognizes him and his shoulders drop, mouth quickly changing into a smile, but he’s not interested in that fake smile.

Before Sora can even finish greeting him, Riku bends down and lifts him up by the waist, propping the keyblade master over his shoulder.

“Riku, what?”

“Hush.” Sora can be loud when he wants to be and Riku doesn’t want anyone stopping them.

Sora feels lighter than he should considering how much muscle he has, like he hasn’t been eating much. The Sora he knows has a ravenous appetite, further proof that something isn’t right. Riku lifts up the bag with his other arm and walks as quietly as possible out the front door of the tower before summoning his keyblade.

“Riku?” Sora questions. Instead of answering, Riku drops him and opens a portal in the sky. _“Riku?!”_

“Summon your armor.”

“What?”

“Sora.” The younger boy sighs, but obeys and Riku does the same. He transforms his keyblade into a glider and steps on, pulling Sora up behind him. “Hold on tight.” Then, they’re gone.

They land in Symphony of Sorcery, bypassing the Mysterious Tower of the past and arriving directly at a location inside the book. This is one of his favorite worlds and perfect for this, there are no people here, so no one to interfere.

He nudges Sora off his glider and aims his keyblade at the portal they came through, choosing not just to seal their entrance, but to seal away the entire world. If no one can see it to know it’s there, then no one can look for them here.  

“The cloudwalk...I really loved this world.”

Riku turns to look at him, “I know, I did too. That’s why I brought us here.”

Sora pauses and stares at him, blue eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why _are_ we here?”

“Because you needed it before you broke.”

“Riku! I was fine, you didn’t need to kidnap me!”

Riku ignores him, looking up at the clear sky and soft clouds of their surroundings. It’s warm and secluded here. He holds out a hand, “Come explore with me, Sora.”

 

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Their days pass by easily, jumping on clouds, sliding down rainbows, swimming in the lakes. They race to see who can eat the most fruit and Riku always lets Sora win, smart enough to know winning isn’t worth the inevitable stomachache. And each day, Sora’s smile gets a little less forced and his eyes get a little less empty.

It’s when night falls that the problems start. Riku hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten back at the tower. There were always people around, so he didn’t have as much alone time with Sora. But here, Sora can’t hide anything from him.

Sora hates the night time now. He hates sleeping, tries to avoid it if he can. It’s no wonder he looks tired all the time. The first couple of nights, Riku hadn’t realized he wasn’t sleeping at night, instead falling asleep at dawn for a few hours.

It only took Sora passing out on him once for Riku to squeeze the reluctant truth from the younger boy and Riku swore to himself he wouldn’t sleep until Sora did.

Riku lays beside him and can hear the short, rapid breaths Sora draws in, feel the fear radiating off of him. Pushing his doubts aside and the little piece of his mind that calls him selfish for this, he draws the shaking boy into the circle of his arms.  

He presses their foreheads together and while he can’t literally change Sora’s nightmares, he can draw them out and leave him to a dreamless void. Peaceful, if not happy.

Riku closes his eyes and feels for their connection, it’s there, but tenuous. Their heart song doesn’t sound quite right anymore, it’s out of tune. No longer are they perfectly in sync. He really has waited too long to do something and with all the responsibility placed on him, Sora wouldn’t even think to tell anyone. Not even his best friend.

He traces their connection, pushing further until he can feel Sora’s heart. It’s fractured in places, still strong, but weaker than it’s ever been before. When your heart is the one that heals everyone else’s, where do you go when it’s your own heart that’s breaking, Riku wonders.

So, he does the only thing he can do. In the quiet of the night while Sora sleeps, he begins to join their hearts, using his own to heal Sora’s. And one day when he’s done, he’ll shield Sora’s heart from everyone else, friend or enemy.

When Sora wakes the next morning, confused about why he’s in Riku’s arms, yet looking better rested than he has in a while, Riku just smiles, kisses his forehead and tells him good morning.

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Despite what everyone may or may not think, he’s not stupid or completely oblivious to everything going on around him. Sora knows Riku’s been taking his nightmares at night. It’s no coincidence that every morning since the nightmares have stopped plaguing him, he wakes up in Riku’s arms.

He’d prefer if Riku trusted him enough to admit it, but the other male has always been reserved with his emotions, so there’s no surprise that Riku doesn’t mention it. Although, he doesn’t mind the closeness. Riku has been his best friend for as long as he can remember. Even when they were fighting on opposite sides, he never stopped thinking of Riku as his closest friend. There’s no one he trusts more in the worlds.

They’ve moved to the Snowgleam Wood area now and Sora looks over to where Riku is dutifully rolling a snowball for the base of a snowman. He’d jokingly asked Riku to make him one and the other boy hadn’t hesitated to jump up and start building. No complaints at all.

Riku had probably done it to make him happy, but it’d had the opposite effect. Instead, he’d grown sadder because it was a sign that Riku still thought something was wrong with him and he hadn’t been doing a good job convincing him otherwise.

He’s trying, but after everything, there’s still a lot he needs time to work through. But, he’s glad Riku brought him here. The solitude is a welcome change from the weight of expectations. It’s nice that he can fully relax for once without the pressure of letting someone down.

A snowball hits him and Sora gasps as the cold snow bursts in his face. “Riku!” He glares over to see the other boy sitting atop the base, laughing at him.

“Sorry Sora! I couldn’t help myself. I’ve never seen you look that serious!”

“Am I not allowed to think?!”

“ _You_ thinking? No way!” Riku laughs, launching another snowball at him. He sees this one coming and avoids it easily, scooping up his own handful of snow to throw back. It’s almost like Riku read his mind and understood that he didn’t want to be treated as if he was fragile or maybe Riku just knows him that well.

Sora jumps to his feet and chases after him when Riku cheats by retaliating with a blizzara that he can’t avoid. From there, an intense battle of magic breaks out, leaving them both near frozen and out of magic. Sora can’t remember the last time he’s sincerely smiled so much.

He settles against Riku’s side around the fire for warmth with cheeks still aching from smiling. Riku wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him in tighter, and he lets Riku support him. The way he always does. It’s something that he had taken for granted before.

But, what happens if he doesn’t get better soon? What if he loses this with Riku? What if Riku gets sick of his struggling and leaves him? What if Riku thinks he’s weak for his constant nightmares? Riku’s the only thing holding him together right now, he can’t lose him. What will happen to him if he’s too weak and loses everything again? He might not make it this time and he doesn’t want to if everyone else is gone.

“Sora? Sora, what’s wrong?” Riku lets go of his waist and turns to face him. “Are you crying? Do you have a frostbite?”

He shakes his head, choking out something between a laugh and a sob. Of course Riku would jump to something like that. He’s a keyblade master, if that was the problem, he could always cast cure. Sora hadn’t even realized he was crying until Riku said something.

But now the tears come forward in an unending flood. It’s the first time he’s cried in months and it feels like they’ll never stop until the sobs turn into little gasps of air.

“Hey, Sora, it’s okay. Just breathe.” Riku reaches for him again, pulling him into his lap, and hugging him. “I’m here, tell me what’s wrong.”

He tries his best to explain through his tears, but from Riku’s confused tone of voice, he can tell he’s not making any sense, so he gives up. Instead, burying his face in Riku’s shoulder and focusing on the warmth of Riku’s palms against his back.

He doesn’t know how long they sit like that, but eventually he can fill his lungs with air again. “Hey, Riku?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you ever leave me for being weak?”

Riku’s arms squeeze tighter around him, “You’re not weak, Sora. And no, I wouldn’t leave you even if you were. You should know that by now.”

“Yeah...sorry.”

He sighs, “Don’t apologize. It’s fine. But, seriously, that’s not something you ever have to worry about from me. You’ve done enough for lifetimes.”

Sora looks up to see Riku smile at him, but this time he doesn’t want another forehead kiss. When Riku leans down, he tilts his head back, letting Riku’s lips meet his own instead. Riku pulls back in surprise and Sora doesn’t understand why the other male looks so shocked, it’s only natural that this would eventually happen. Unless he’s misreading the situation and he really _really_ hopes not.

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s okay, I meant for it to happen,” Sora responds and Riku looks at him unsurely. “Why are you so surprised? What did you think would happen when you kept kissing me on the forehead and holding me at night?”

Sora laughs as his older and stronger best friend's face turns red. “Riku, you’re the best.”

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Since it’s just the two of them all day, everyday, they were bound to cross boundaries a lot faster than would normally happen and after their first kiss, things progress quickly. They find plenty of new and interesting things to do with their hands and mouths. At first Riku thought maybe they should slow down, but Sora didn’t seem to mind and he’s always been weak to Sora.

The first time they sleep together, it's intense and scary. They're careful, yet it still feels so _so_ good. Sora's hands on his bare skin never fails to excite Riku.

Sora is warm and pliant against him, responsive to his touches, encouraging him further with each gasped cry of his name.

He's trusting and open and when Riku finally slides inside, it's like nothing he's ever experienced.  It hurts, Riku can tell it does, but Sora protests when he tries to stop and well if Sora says it's fine, then it must be.

With Sora eager and accepting beneath him, it’s the opportune moment to join their hearts and deepen their bond. So Riku does, through each and every open mouthed kiss he lays on Sora’s flushed skin.

And every time after brings them closer until he can finally shield Sora’s heart with his own.

❤❤❤❤❤

 

“Have you heard anything, your majesty?” Aqua questions as the two of them stand in front of Yen Sid’s desk.

“No, I have no idea where they could have gone. Riku’s note said not to worry, but it’s been almost two months with no word from them.” Mickey turns to the wizard, “Have you had any luck locating them?”

“I’m afraid not, Mickey,” Yen Sid answers with a shake of his head. “I’ve been searching for a sign of them in my spare time, but there’s no trace of them on any world I’ve looked at. It’s as if they’ve simply vanished.”

“You don’t think….they might have been taken by the darkness, do you?”

“They’re strong and Riku knows how to overcome the darkness. I don’t think he would let that happen to them,” Mickey answers.

“Yes, but even the strongest break sometimes,” Aqua murmurs back.

“That’s true, but if the two of them are together, I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Sora wakes with his face planted in Riku’s chest and he grimaces at the drool spot left behind. At least he knows he slept well. He considers waking Riku up, but the older boy was up late, keeping him company from his nightmares, so Sora lets him sleep.

He wanders from their small alcove in the Moonlight wood and wonders just how high up the larger than life trees grow. Riku won’t be awake for a while and he has time, so he climbs and climbs until he’s so far up that he can’t see the ground and it seems like a single leap will let him touch the sky.

Sora crawls on his hands and knees to the edge of a large lily pad and peers over the side, he can only see more trees and large leaves. What would happen if he jumped right now? No swan dives or magic, just himself and gravity, plummeting him straight towards the ground.

Would darkness grow stronger? Would light even notice his absence? Would he transcend past the Final World and into oblivion? He thinks Riku would be both angry at him and sad if he let himself go. The older boy might even take it as his own failure and carry that weight in his heart. That would be such a Riku thing to do.

“Are you going to jump?”

Sora flinches violently and turns back to glare at Riku for sneaking up on him. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t heard Riku climbing up, despite the silence at this altitude. How long has he been up here? It’s hard to tell when it’s always evening here and the air is so still.

“Well? Are you?” Riku questions again.

Sore pushes himself back to his feet, “No.”

“Are you sure?” He presses, stepping forward. “If you’re going to jump, I’ll jump with you.”

“I was just looking, I’m not going to jump,” Sora denies, backing up quickly as Riku moves into his space. He reaches the edge of the lilypad and has to grab onto Riku’s arms to keep himself from slipping backwards.

Sora glances up, but can’t hold Riku’s knowing teal gaze, afraid that his best friend can see right through him. He wasn’t _seriously_ considering it though.

An animal hops onto their lilly pad, shaking it, and Sora instinctively tightens his grip, feeling solid muscle under his fingertips. His sight drifts to his hands and he lets his fingers drift over tight biceps. He wonders, when did Riku get so big that his hands can barely wrap around half of his arm?

“Sora.” Riku waits until he looks up. “You’re not alone. If you jump, know that I’m only a step behind.”

He knows Riku doesn’t just mean this for now, but for everything. “I’m not gonna jump, Riku.”

“Okay.” He covers Sora’s hand with his own and removes it from his arm before kissing his palm. “Sorry you stayed small and scrawny while I got muscle.”

“Riku!” Sora feels his face turn red, so Riku does know what he’s thinking.

“Sorry.” Riku laughs. “You weren’t very subtle about it.”

Sora pushes his face into his Riku’s chest and pouts, “Don’t be so mean, carry me back.”

“Okay.” Sora climbs onto his back and holds on tight. As Riku begins to descend, he wonders how much longer they can live like this. Riku can’t keep him away from everyone forever, even though he wouldn’t be shocked if he tried. Eventually they’ll return and it won’t be just the two of them anymore, then what?

“You know,” Sora begins. “It’s not just about jumping...you can’t let me fall either.”

“I never will,” Riku answers immediately. “That’s why we’re here. Do you need more proof?”

“No, I trust you.” And hopefully it’s as simple as that.

❤❤❤❤❤

Riku picks the dead of night for them to return to the Mysterious Tower. He wants to avoid making a scene for as long as possible. It’s dark when they land, all lights in the tower are off and there’s only the bright glow of the stars lighting their surroundings. He’s not sure how long they’ve been gone, but nothing seems to have changed.

Sora follows him inside and up to his room before settling on the bed. Riku turns to check his calendar and sucks in a breath. _Three months._

“What is it, Riku?”

“We’ve been gone...three months,” he answers slowly.

“ _Three months?!”_ Sora sits up on his bed, “I never imagined we’d been gone so long.”

“Me neither.” Riku watches as Sora wiggles out of his top layer of clothes and kicks his shoes off. “Shouldn’t be going to your own room?”

The younger boy frowns at him. “We haven’t been apart in three months. Why should we start now?”

Riku shrugs, “Because it’s different here, we’re not in Symphony of Sorcery anymore.”

Sora slowly stands up, staring him down with darkened blue eyes. “Are you saying that the last three months didn’t happen?”

“No!” Riku protests, reaching for hands that Sora tugs away. “I’m just saying things aren’t exactly the same when everyone else is around.”

“I don’t _want_ them to be different!” Sora turns away from him with clenched fists and Riku feels his heart sink. “You can’t give my heart back now, Riku. I don’t want it,” he whispers.

He’s saying everything wrong. How have they only been back fifteen minutes and he’s already ruining everything? Riku searches desperately for the right words to comfort him, but all he can find is false encouragement. “I’m not giving it back Sora, nothing will change.”

“You’re lying, Riku. I trusted you to never lie to me.”

Riku stares speechless as slow tears make their way down Sora’s cheeks and he wants nothing more than to go comfort him, but he doesn’t get a chance before the other boy leaves his room.

He handled that badly, but it’s the truth. Their relationship can’t stay the same as it was before, especially when what he did comes to light and he doesn’t want Sora to suffer for his decisions. He’s been through enough.

The next morning he catches Sora at the entrance to the dining room and squeezes his hand once in apology before letting go. Sora gives him a strained smile and Riku doesn’t miss how tired he looks, like he barely slept all night. That’s his fault, Riku thinks miserably. He knows Sora struggles to sleep at night, he should’ve done something.

They step into the dining room and all eyes turn to them. Aqua is the first one to speak, “Welcome back guys.” It opens a flood of questions about where they’ve been and what they’ve done that Sora deftly avoids with one of his award winning grins. “Sorry everyone! We just needed a little vacation!”

“Three months is more than a little,” Terra frowns at them. “Something more than a note would have been nice.”

“He’s very right, you know.” Yen Sid adds. “We could find no trace of the two of you. We were worried about the possibility that you might have fallen into darkness.”

Sora grabs onto his forearm and it takes all of Riku’s will not to turn red at his touch. “Sorry,” Sora grins. “Won’t happen again!”

Riku’s not sure if he can really promise that, but he agrees and takes the easy way out.

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Riku ruffles his hair before leaving Sora standing outside, sweaty from their sparring.

It annoys him.

Previously, Riku would have kissed him, hugged him, done something to show affection, but now he has to settle for head pats because Riku's always aware of who could be watching them. Now, the older boy tenses up at every one of his casual touches.

It's stupid and ridiculous and he hates it.

Riku gave him _everything_ in Symphony of Sorcery and now he's taking it all back. Now, it’s just one more thing on his plate that he has to deal with. Riku thinks he’s the one that’s hurting, but maybe Riku should stop denying himself.

He's still staring after Riku when Kairi calls his name and he jumps before turning to her with a smile. “Hey Kairi, what's up?” Sora greets her cheerfully even as he desperately hopes someone else will find them.

It’s not that he minds her presence, he’s just not ready to confront her searching eyes yet. Everytime they’re near each other, she always looks at him with a certain expectation. Searching for something he can’t give her. When Kairi’s eyes fall on him he can feel the weight settling back on his shoulders and he’d thought Riku would keep him from bearing it alone, yet somehow he’s never around at these times.

Sora knows it must be intentional because Riku typically does his best to try and stay near him.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?”

 _Absolutely not._ “Right now? I’m all gross and sweaty from sparring, you don’t want to be around me right now. I’m gonna take a quick shower before they serve dinner. I’ll see you there!”

He escapes inside the tower, even as his heart aches from avoiding one of his best friends. Nothing is her fault. If Riku did that to him again, he’d lose it. _I’m so so weak, she deserves better, they both do. What do they see in me?_

Riku finds him there in his favorite dark corner an hour later and the older boy silently pulls him to his feet, dragging him back into the light.

As the days pass, they settle back into their familiar routine of training with the others and everything seems to have been forgiven and returned to normal again until it’s not.

It starts with Roxas questioning him at the dinner table one night, “Are you okay, Sora?”

He pauses with his fork halfway to stealing Riku’s last potato and looks over to Roxas, “Yeah.”

Xion and Roxas exchange a brief look with each other, “We can’t feel your heart.”

Sora feels his stomach drop. “What do you mean?”

“Before you left,” Roxas explains. “We could always feel our past connection to your heart, but now whenever any of us, me, Ventus, or Xion reach out, there’s nothing there. We can’t feel anything. It’s like your heart is gone.”

A hush falls over the table and Sora smiles as several pairs of eyes flick to him in worry. “You guys worry too much, I feel fine!”

“You feel empty.”

Sora pauses, meeting their concerned gazes. He can’t be missing his heart, can he? He closes his eyes and searches inside of himself. And his heart is there, right where it’s always been. It still feels strong, but it’s not only his own heart he feels, someone else’s is there with his. Another heart has joined with his to heal the fractures of his own and there’s a shield now too, strong and impenetrable.

But there’s one connection that he can feel shining brightly and he traces it back to….Riku. Sora forces himself not to look at the other boy now that he realizes what’s actually happened. “I’m fine, everyone,” he reassures. “Trust me.”

There’s a few skeptical looks around the table, Mickey looks worried, and Riku stares at his plate from four seats over, not saying a word.

“What did you do to him?” Riku must know this is directed towards him because he slowly looks up to meet Roxas’s angry blue eyes. Riku glances to him for a brief moment, “Nothing.”

“That’s crap.” Roxas gestures to everyone sitting around the table. “We’re talking about Sora possibly losing his heart and you’re staring at the table like you don’t care. You know something.”

Now they’re all looking at Riku a little warily and he realizes why Riku said their relationship couldn’t keep the same ease as before. “Guys,” Sora interrupts. “It’s fine, I feel fine, really.” And he does, even more so now that he knows what Riku did.

Roxas continues to stare at his best friend coldly, “You didn’t even realize, Sora.”

“I didn’t, but it’s okay.” It’s a lie to say he didn’t notice, more like he chose to ignore it. He could feel the tiny changes, but didn’t want to acknowledge them or ask. He trusted Riku. If the other boy was meddling with his heart and mind while he slept, it had to be for good reason. Riku hasn’t intentionally led him wrong before.

“Then what did he do, Sora?”

“I don’t know,” Sora lies again. “But, I’m fine.” Roxas shakes his head in disgust, but fortunately drops the subject.

That night, he creeps into Riku’s room and slides in next to him, strong arms wrap him in a familiar embrace and Sora breathes out a thank you against the warm skin of Riku’s neck.

 

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Riku turns to King Mickey at his nudge, “I want you to go with me to Wonderland today after breakfast. We’ve had some heartless sightings there.”

He looks over to where Sora is seemingly enjoying his omelette without a care in the world, and at all the people in the dining room. Too many people, if he’s honest. He’s always been more of a solitary person.

The mistrust the former pieces of Sora have towards him has grown since Roxas’s questioning at dinner several nights ago. It’s like he can never leave that the darkness once took him behind. Then again, it’s not like Riku has good history with any of them.  He wasn’t ever particularly kind or understanding to Xion, doesn’t know Ventus, and didn’t hesitate to strike Roxas down with the power of darkness. It would be a nice reprieve from the suspicious looks, yet…

“I don’t think Sora would like it if I went without him.”

Mickey frowns, “You two have gone on separate missions many times before. Aren’t you overthinking it?”

Riku forces himself not to look at Sora, “Maybe. Alright.”

“Then you and I will leave right after breakfast.”

Immediately enough to make Riku think Sora was listening all along, the younger boy tunes into their conversation and whips around to face them, “You, _me,_ and Riku.”

Mickey and Riku exchange a look. “Sora,” the King begins. “You don’t even know where we’re going.”

“I don’t care. If Riku’s going, I’m going.” Sora leans across him to meet Mickey’s gaze, hand digging into Riku’s thigh from the weight.

“Sora, it’s really not necessary for all of us.”

He shakes his head once and Riku can’t help smiling fondly at Sora’s stubborness. He’s also a little pleased that Sora wants to keep him close. Riku gently pushes Sora off his lap and back into his chair. “Fine, you can come.”

“Riku,” Mickey protests.

“Great!” Sora beams.

“Are you leaving again, Sora? Not for three months this time, I hope,” Kairi interrupts.

“No,” Sora answers with a forced smile. “I’m just joining Riku and the King for a short mission.

“Sora, I’ve missed you.”

It’s silent around the table after her confession and Riku doesn’t miss the way Sora’s body goes tense, fists curling into his thighs, and sinking his nails into his palms. Riku can feel Mickey’s gaze on him as he pries Sora’s fist open and intertwines their fingers under the table.

“Kairi, I don’t think now is the best time for this.” Riku murmurs, if only to publicly spare her feelings.

“But, Sora’s been avoiding being alone with me for weeks. This is the only way I can get him to talk to me.”

Everyone watches them, although they know it’s a private conversation. Riku sees the way Sora’s shoulders hunch in under their gazes, their expectations weighing down on him again, but only the frantic jiggling of Sora’s leg really betrays his anxiety about the conversation.

Sora looks down at table, fork wobbling slightly in his hand. “I’m sorry, Kairi. I didn’t mean to avoid you, but I don’t have an answer for you.”

“Sora, I haven’t asked you anything.”

Roxas speaks up into the silence and attacks the subject full on. “Maybe he can’t return your feelings because his heart’s gone. Maybe that’s why we can’t feel it.”

Riku can practically feel the air get sucked out of the room and now no one’s pretending not to listen. He winces, things had been going so well.

“That’s not true,” Sora protests.

“Then what’s the reason if you haven’t lost your heart?” Roxas insists.

Riku knows Sora hates being put on the spot like this and he’s sure Roxas can tell too, but this isn’t only about Sora. Roxas wants him to spill too, but Riku remains silent, refusing to give any answers.

Sora takes a breath, “My heart is still here. It’s stronger than ever before, it’s just shielded.”

“Shielded? From us? But why?” Roxas questions, narrowing his eyes and letting his eyes flick to Riku. Riku stares harder at the table, hiding behind his bangs.

“Shielded from everyone,” Sora answers.

“But, Sora,” Mickey interrupts. “I don’t understand why.”

“I let Riku shield it.” Riku feels eyes turn to him, but he refuses to look up.

Roxas glares harder. “You said you didn’t know!”

“I didn’t know until you brought it up, then I felt it and realized nothing was wrong.”

“He thinks you need to be protected from us too?”

“It’s not like that,” Sora sighs. “It’s just a protective shield, just for now.” _Just until my heart can heal._

“A shield that only _he_ can get past, how convenient. You trust him too much.”

Kairi calls Sora’s name again, steering the conversation back on topic. “That’s why you don’t have an answer for me, because you can’t feel anything right now?”

Sora shakes his head, even though he could just agree with Kairi’s thoughts and push everything aside to later, but Riku already knows he cares about Kairi too much to take the easy way out.

“No Kairi, the shield isn’t the reason I haven’t given you an answer. He looks at her with wide, pain filled blue eyes. “I gave everything to him over the past few months. My heart, my body, my mind. That’s why I can’t give you what you want. I don’t have anything left to give.”

She’s silent, biting her bottom lip in conflicted thought. “If I had been the one to take you away from everyone for three months, would it have been me instead?”

Sora stares at her in surprise that slowly shifts to unease.

He remembers the way Riku would hold him as he cried, then an hour later push him off a hill. How Riku soothed his nightmares, then would throw snowballs at him, never once did Riku treat him like he was fragile. Riku’s his best friend and more, everything he needs.

That’s why it was so easy to give Riku his everything. Sora blinks back into the present and feels the fondness for Riku in the soft smile on his face and Kairi must see it too as she looks at him sadly. He doesn’t think she could have given him the same type of comfort and friendship as Riku did.

“No, I don’t think so.” She nods in acceptance.

Riku leaves the heavy atmosphere of the dining room before it can get any worse, abandoning his dinner and escaping to his bedroom on the 7th floor of the tower. The burn in his calves as he makes his way up the stairs reminding him every second of the way they looked at him. Mickey’s surprise and Yen Sid’s shock, everyone’s discomfort. He supposes now they all know what he and Sora got up to during those three months they were gone.

Sora joins him later that evening, still angry about being abandoned at the dinner table. “You left me there alone,” Sora states accusingly before slamming his door shut.

“What did you want me to say?”

“I don’t care what you said as long as you didn’t leave me down there to face everyone alone!”

“I think if I had said anything, it would have made things worse. It was a conversation for the two of you. Plus,” he chuckles. “Roxas would have eaten me alive if I’d said one word.”

Sora huffs, “Yeah, it should have been a private conversation, but that didn’t stop everyone else from listening.” He climbs into Riku’s lap and settles on his thighs. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know,” he replies, bracing his hands on Sora’s hips. “You should be.”

“I really wish we could’ve had that conversation without everyone watching.”

“Then you shouldn’t have avoided her for so long,” Riku scolds lightly.

Sora gives him a look, “I didn’t steal myself away for three months.”

“But you feel better now.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” Sora cups Riku’s face between his palms and Riku stares into warm blue eyes. “I miss this,” he whispers before bringing his face closer until their lips meet.

Sora sighs against his lips and Riku breathes him in. If Sora’s happy, then that’s the only thing that matters.

❤❤❤❤❤

 

Sora lets himself be lulled into a light doze as Riku’s fingers card gently through his hair. It’s relaxing here on the beach with only the sounds of waves and the quiet calls of seagulls. He’s stretched out on his stomach across Riku’s lap and when they’re together like this, things don’t weigh so heavily on him.

Especially when he has Riku’s constant support strengthening him. If he’s quiet, he can hear the faint music of their heart song playing.

He hears soft footsteps approaching in the sand, but he’s too content to open his eyes.

“So, this is where you two are. Everyone was starting to get worried again.” _Hmm...Aqua then._

Riku sighs, “I don’t think they’ll ever let us forget that.”

“You might’ve eloped this time,” Aqua teases and Riku’s hand freezes in his hair for a brief moment. “I’m kidding.” There’s silence until she says, “You know, I don’t blame you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I get it. I...would do whatever it takes to protect my friends from anything that might hurt them. You did what you thought was right.”

“And was I right?”

“Well, you both seem happier than before you left, so I guess it was right for you.”

“...Thanks.”

“I’ll go let them know you two haven't completely ditched us yet. Don’t stay too long.”

There’s the shuffling of sand and they’re alone again. Sora turns over to look up at Riku. He’s beautiful and giving him the softest, sweetest smile as his green eyes glow with happiness. “So, you were awake.”

“Of course.” He takes Riku’s hand from his hair and intertwines their fingers, letting them rest against his heart. Riku turns faintly pink and Sora can’t help laughing quietly. After everything, he can still get Riku to blush over the smallest things, Sora thinks fondly.

He loves Riku and Riku loves him. If there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s that, even if they’ve never said the words to one another.

And while things may not be perfect and he still has his dark moments, right here and now, he’s healed anew with every moment spent with Riku.


End file.
